Ever since Monday, I've been trying (and other people have been trying) to distract me. Because that is what you should do when you are so unhappy and grieving like I am. And, at times, it works. I still don't want to eat, and I cry when I think about my poor girl, but I manage to find things to take my mind off of what happened. I visited my sister in Gloucester, I watched television, I checked email, I listened to NPR, I wasted time online...
Because you aren't really supposed to just sit around and dwell on your loss.
Even though this loss is a large loss for me and my little family, I get this feeling that I am supposed to distract myself, if only to give my eyes and mind a rest for a few hours.
And I think this extends further than just mourning. I think this extends out everywhere, in our every day, happy and normal lives. Sometimes it's like distractions are what makes this world go round. We love media, music, text-messaging, social networking, internet updates, videos, everything, because these are things that we can get so lost in we forget everything else. And it can feel nice to forget everything else.
I just don't know if it's good to forget or get lost. Maybe it is. I don't know.
Is it healthier? Is it necessary? Is it just a part of living?
When my Mr. Buddha died, I stayed in bed for two days, cried A LOT, and still have heart pangs every now and then. I think it is healthy to do both. Remember, then give yourself a break through distraction, then remember, repeat, repeat, repeat. Oh, and remember I love you a whole heck of a lot!!!
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